B&A, What do you think of my opening paragraph? And how do you think I could improve it ?

What a very great description! You could probably describe the woman a bit more. Also, can you see the last sentence, 'Then there was a loud...'. Take out the 'Then'. It builds a tiny bit more suspense, in my opinion. Also take out the 'then' in the sentence 'Then he heard her stop...'. Other than that the whole opening is very excellent. There was a lot of suspense, and I mean a lot of suspense. It really made me scared for real. I'm not jokin. Well done, man.